By Tom N. Mbalinda
Caution: Before you throw stones, sit down, be calm and read. This is a controversial post.
1. Nowhere in the bible did the clergy or church conduct a wedding. Weddings are the purview of the family of the bride and groom. Ref. Jacob and his wives Rachel and Leah and how he sought consent from their father Laban to marry them. Jesus never presided over marriage ceremony in His ministry. Why? If it was a sacrament of the church at the time, He would have. For He left after he had fulfilled all His obligations on earth. Superintendency over marriage by church is an invention of the Church at the time when Church and state were fused. It was an attempt by the Church to control people. I believe a ‘marriage’ sanctioned by the Church but without blessings of the parents is unGodly. Balokole churches are doing this especially for marriages between clanmates. abomination!
2. There is no single verse which forbids polygamy. But the challenges of polygamy are well documented. Ref. King Solomon. However the bible cautions leaders in Church against having more than one wife: 1 Timothy 3:2, 3:12; Titus 1:6. God is not a God of anarchy and confusion. Many polygamous families are wrought with confusion. It is more often than not that you find fragmented polygamous families than you will monogamous ones, but there are also many dysfunctional monogamous marriages!
3. For emphasis, polygamy in itself is not sinful. But the challenges that come with it could disrupt God’s purpose for you, lead you astray and damn your soul. It is not for the faint-hearted. If we are to ‘judge’ people for being polygamous, let us do so on account of them [men] failing to reign in on, manage and provide for their families as the heads thereof. The same yardstick should be used for monogamous marriages.
4. Whether you choose to be polygamous or monogamous, remember to run your marriage according to the tenets of the Bible: Ephesians 5, 1 Corinthians 13, Proverbs 31 e.t.c. But remember the admonition in 2 & 3 above if polygamous. Monogamy is much safer. Polygamy is not a joke.
5. Many men and women who are lambasting the late Kagugube are running dysfunctional monogamous marriages. What right do you have to judge him? Some have only 1 wife and 2 children but the report cards for last term are still at school because you have not paid tuition, you beat and abuse your wives, and have multiple children scattered far away from their ‘holy matrimonial homes’. The landlord is now an ‘enemy’ to be avoided because of rent arrears. Others are married to one husband or wife but breaking every known rule of the monogamous unit they are in, including cheating on each other. Are you any better?
6. If you are lucky enough to be in a monogamous marriage, good for you. Stop pointing fingers at the late Kagugube, mind your monogamous marriage and run it well before you lose it or it becomes polygamous or ‘loosely speaking, polyandrous’.
That said, shut the fuck up!
Note: I am not polygamous, and I am not planning to be in the foreseeable future. My head [Cranium that is] can only handle so much. But I will not judge polygamous men whose polygamous families are functional.
R.I.P Dr. Simon Kagugube
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