The world over, you have to work hard to deserve attention and earn the respect of others. For example, you can be a successful entrepreneur, celebrated CEO, accomplished sportsperson, celebrated artiste, articulate politician, academic excellence, among other things.
In Uganda however, it’s easier than elsewhere to attain a celebrity status. The persons who attain celebrity statuses without any accomplishments to their names, are called socialites.
In Uganda however, socialites fall like rain that’s is why we have managed to have a good number of them. Most notable ones include among others Michael Ezra, Bad Black, Meddie Ssentongo, Judith Heard, Zari Hassan, SK Mbuga, the late Ivan Ssemwanga and Bryan White.
Before you know it, everyone will be speaking about you and you’re getting the attention you have always yearned for.
Here are the seven steps to becoming a socialite:
1. First have a goal to be popular but have no accomplishments
It is actually a human need to be recognized. But people who feel empty inside them clamour for more attention than others. So, on your way to being a socialite, make sure you find meaning in life from what others say about you. Be an attention seeker.
2. Save or borrow some money
Well, money is either worked hard for, robbed, inherited, saved, won in a lottery or earned from investments. The sure way of ensuring wealth is wise investment. However for socialites, they don’t have to go there, they either use the other paths. So as soon as a few moneys drop on their account, they identify a date to announce their arrival on the Uganda scene.
3. Identify a bar to buy booze
Somehow, drunkards love to sing praise for anyone who buys them booze. They’ll even baptise them names, such as Muggaga, Oga, Moneybags, tycoon, etc. So, when everyone gets drunk, the first ambassadors to preach the gospel of a socialite would be identified.
4. Attend prayers at mosques, churches
Somehow when you make donations to religious organizations, one becomes the person of the people.
So, donate cement, ironsheets, clothes for religious leaders, pocket money etc. You’ll be accorded a front seat in the church, and granted speaking time during or after prayers. The preacher will even use your name during his preaching.
5. Get a team of media personalities to sing your praises
The media makes or breaks emperors. So getting yourself a media committee to praise you and attack anyone against you, works out. This is very easy, the Ugandan People are so gullible. They believe anything the media says, whether by manipulation or deception.
6. Join hands with musicians
Musicians in Uganda are gold diggers. They’ll run to anyone with some money seeking favours including to sponsor their concerts, music recording or video shooting. The musician who takes this money, will in term praise the giver, the socialite.
7. Get appearances with politicians
Ugandans somehow think politicians are rich. Politicians of course love to show how well off they’re.
So, when a socialite appears with politicians, their perfect match, comes true. The two are liars and comical, so, they’ll hoodwink the public to believe anything they want to make them believe.
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