Sex is great. The best, even. Sex is usually listed as an important—if not most important—element of a relationship. That’s why many relationship fizzle after the honeymoon phase ends. And just when shit gets real.
A true romantic relationship can survive the sexual ruts. Both partners can recognize that sometimes the sex will be bad. But when it’s good? it’s mind-blowing. When sex isn’t considered the most important factor in a relationship, it gets better and better.
1. It’s not your most cherished memory. When you look back on the best times you’ve had with someone you love, you don’t immediately think about that great sex you had that one time. Maybe you do, but it’s not the thing you value most.
2. You can have sex with anyone. You can’t love anyone. Se x with someone you love is amazing, but it’s not the most amazing thing about them. And it shouldn’t be.
3. Sex isn’t necessary for all relationships to be strong. You don’t sex with your friends, you don’t have sex with your guy friend, or anyone in your family—unless you’re a Lannister. Sex is great in romantic relationships, but they, like these other important relationships, can survive without it.
4. It’s kind of gross. Sure, it feels great. Amazing when done well. And actually pretty damn good when it’s terrible, too. But when you really think about it—genitals in genitals, exchanging genital juices and such? It’s gross. It’s so gross.
5. There are better (and less gross) things to do. Like, watch videos of cute baby animals. Netflix and literally chill. Eat a hamburger. Take a walk outside.
6. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. The less you have sex, especially in a relationship, the more you appreciate. And, in most cases, the better it gets.
7. It’s not the key to happiness. Many people equate their sex lives to their happiness. But the truth is, they’re not connected at all: it’s all in your mind. There are happy people who have a lot of sex, and there are happy people who don’t have a lot of sex, or don’t have it at all.
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