Relationships can be extremely challenging. There are so many variables, so many emotions, and most importantly, so much history. Romantic relationships go through their trials and tribulations, just like all relationships throughout life. One of the major issues facing relationships is trust. No one can realistically be with their partner 24 hours a day.
There are times where each person will be out, living their own lives, and that leaves some room for the imagination to run wild. Has the thought ever crossed your mind that your woman may be cheating on you? What if she isn’t and you ruin your relationship by accusing her? How do you know for sure before confronting her? Let’s take a look at some red flags that may help you determine whether or not your girlfriend is, in fact, sleeping with someone else.
1.She’s Constantly On Her Phone Once She Gets Home
We urge you to be careful with this one, as there may be very innocent reasons for your girlfriend to be on her phone. It is not a surefire indication of cheating. However, if you start to notice a chance of her regular phone usage patterns and see her using her phone way more often once she gets home, this may be an indication of a lack of investment in your relationship and not just her being a product of our ‘always plugged in’ times. There may be a chance she’s talking to someone else, who she may have just slept with and she may even be making plans of seeing them again.
2.She’s Not In The Mood For Sex
If you and your girlfriend were used to having a relatively healthy sex life and you notice a change in this behavior, you may want to keep your eyes open. This isn’t to say that you guys should be going at it like rabbits, but if you’ve been in a relationship for a relatively long period and your sex habits have changed, this may be concerning. Has your girlfriend been coming up with excuses not to have sex? Is she always suddenly ‘tired’ or ‘not feeling up for it’? Sometimes, this may, in fact, be the case, but you may want to dig a bit deeper to be sure. There’s a chance she’s not into getting it in with you because she’s getting it somewhere else. We strongly discourage drawing immediate conclusions, but once you start to see a pattern, take some time to discuss the issue and determine whether her ‘excuses’ are valid or not.
3.She’s Always Busy
If you’ve noticed that whenever you try to make last-minute plans with your girlfriend, she’s unable to alter her schedule to accommodate, this may be a reason for concern. A woman’s social life is a mystery to most men. Women enjoy hanging out together regularly, going out for a happy hour, having movie nights, and so much more. However, once you notice your girlfriend’s social habits to change or become a bit more secretive, there may be a reason other than her girlfriends.
Some couples even have a designated ‘day’ that they spend together without allowing other things to come up. If your girlfriend has suddenly been blowing off your ‘day’ or is no longer able to do anything spontaneously because of pre-determined plans, these are indications of her waning interest in the relationship and may be a sign that she’s recently slept with someone else. If her interest in spending some extra time with you is non-existent, it might be because she has been spending time with someone else.
Have you noticed your girlfriend coming home with new clothing regularly? Has she been spending more time and care on her appearance than she had been previously? While this may be innocent, if this is out of the ordinary in terms of her character, you may want to do some investigating. Is she leaving home all dolled up when she’s just ‘going to the gym’ or ‘heading to the grocery store’? Is she showering and getting ‘pretty’ before leaving home to run simple errands? Is she buying new, sexy outfits that she doesn’t even seem to wear when you guys go out? Suspicious, wouldn’t you think? These may be all be signs that your girlfriend is sleeping with someone else.
5.She Comes Home And Immediately Showers And Changes
Changing habits are one of the biggest signs that there may be some cheating going on. If your girlfriend comes home and immediately wants to shower, change, and head to bed, there may be a reason for concern. Instead of coming home to your loving embrace and a chance for you guys to talk about your days, she’s running to shower and clean up. Is this a new habit? What’s so important about an immediate shower once you get home? Being hygienic is important, of course, but is it necessary to skip all pleasantries in favor of the shower? Again, this may not be completely indicative that your girlfriend has just slept with someone, but it should be a reason to start looking deeper into things.
6.She’s Concerned With Your Whereabouts
Has your girlfriend recently started caring too much about where you are and when you’ll be back home? Has she been a little more overbearing, checking in on you more often than usual? While this may be a sign of true love and care for some couples, if this is not the norm, this may be indicative that she has something to hide and is either concerned that you’ll find out if you come home early or she’s worried that you’re engaging in untrustworthy acts like she is. It is common for people who are cheating to project feelings of distrust onto their partners, thinking their partners are up to no good as well. Unfortunately, there’s also a chance that she’s just slept with someone in your own home and is trying to make sure the coast is clear, and she doesn’t have to worry about you walking in on her and her lover.
7.She’s Unhappy When She Gets Home
Do you remember the days where your woman would come home and be so excited to see you and spend time with you? You two couldn’t get enough of one another and be seemingly inseparable. You would both tailor your days in such ways that you would be able to spend the most time together. Weren’t those the golden days? Have you noticed a change in this behavior?
These days, when your girlfriend gets home, she’s irritable, short-tempered, and disinterested. Instead of greeting you with a smile, she seems to move right into her world and do her own thing, almost completely neglectful of your presence, if not completely neglectful. If she’s constantly upset with you or nagging you, these are signs of resentment and disinterest in both you and your relationship. She no longer has the patience to work things out, nor does she care to. This may be a sign that she has just slept with someone who actually made her happy and is now coming home to a situation she no longer cares to be involved in.
When you start to feel like you can do absolutely no right in your relationship, there’s a chance there may be someone else that is making her happy, and she’s just riding things out with you until they fall apart.
8.She’s Unreachable For Extended Periods
Was there ever a point in time where both you and your girlfriend had to be in contact all the time? Were you ever texting or on the phone from morning until night? That must have been such a blissful time where both of you were so happy and excited to share each other’s company.
When this changes and you start to notice that your girlfriend is falling off the grid for extended periods, it may be more than just ‘a busy day at work’ or her ‘falling asleep.’ When you notice that she’s starting to go missing for hours at a time, and then show up home like nothing’s ever happened, we highly recommend looking into things a bit deeper. Her excuses may be just that, excuses. It is always better to get to the root cause sooner, rather than later.
Two people in a committed relationship would both actively make an effort to keep each other informed about their whereabouts throughout the day. When one starts to fall short on this commitment, it’s completely natural to wonder why this is happening, and of course, there is a reason. She may have been spending this time with someone else.
9.She Becomes Paranoid
If your girlfriend has started to show signs of paranoia, blaming more and more things on you, take notice. She may be snapping at you over smaller and smaller things that are completely irrelevant, and this could be in a poor attempt to cover her tracks, trying to throw the blame on you so that you have no reason to throw any blame back towards her. By your girlfriend focusing the attention on you and your ‘shortcomings,’ she’s taking your ability to pay attention to her away, which gives her more of a safety net. If your girlfriend comes home ready to pick a fight over something as small as you take a deep breath, it may be because she’s just slept with someone and wants to take any attention away from herself.
Finding out that your girlfriend has been unfaithful can be a truly traumatizing experience. Where you were once building your life with someone, you’re now faced with the possibility of having to start over. Once you start to think things over truly, you begin to notice there were so many signs along the way that you were blissfully ignoring. It’s expected that you would want to protect your good times and good memories with your girlfriend, not believing that she would ever hurt you this way.
However, if you have been experiencing any of the issues that we’ve encountered above, it’s highly recommended that you start considering the notion that your girlfriend may have just slept with someone, we understand this may be a very difficult time and will take a lot of self-work to overcome, but be sure to always take care of yourself, love yourself, and understand you did not deserve any of this.
Do you have a story in your community or an opinion to share with us: Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org