Bad Black, Zari Hassan and Golola Moses should sing to Buchaman’s tune Lwaki Temumatira! Otherwise, why aren’t they President Museveni’s advisors in their areas of expertise!
Bad Black should advise President Museveni on the oldest profession in the world – they are simply too many voters plying that trade!
Zari represents ladies who dump husbands and turn to boys while Golola is our man – the one man’s army who speaks for young men who eat a lot but with no money to buy the amounts they want on their plates.
Jokes aside, Golola who almost created kickboxing in Uganda, has so much to him.
Isn’t Uganda paradise? Good luck can knock at your door any time. Before you know it you are eating mana from heaven!
Well, imagine waking up one morning broke, hungry, debt-ridden and hopeless, but then at the end of the day the whole world knows you are something called “presidential advisor” with a monthly salary, allowances, guards and monster wheels!
This is Uganda.
Zari, Golola and Black should reap too.
Well, the opposite is also true. You can ask those guys who were arrested, accused of killing Andrew Felix Kaweesi, tortured and today are surviving with disabilities. You may curse the day you were born if bad luck found you standing in the wrong place!
Not to spoil the party, I will stick to the positive picture of Uganda. This biggest news in Uganda is about Ugandan citizens Buchaman, Full Figure and Catherine Kusasira being appointed advisors to the President. Never mind our President advises himself, but, that title opens a number of doors in this land! So, that is what the three failed singers have God to thank for.
Again, Uganda is paradise. God visits any time.
You can be Buchaman or Full Figure living in your filth ghetto shack. You may have given up on life…and feel like hanging yourself, after all everything you hanged on has passed through your hands!
Comrade Buchaman, for instance, was a few months ago thrown in the coolers for envying a neighbor who cooked a half kilo of beef!
As for Full Figure, no one with children or grandchildren wants her near since the profanities coming out of her mouth could condemn her to mental asylum or simply, we termed a social misfit. Not in Uganda!
One a good day, Buchaman, Full Figure and Kusasira woke up to meet a Head of State to wine and dine. Isn’t that what is called raising the lowly to eat with princes and kings!
Mind you, professors, doctors, teachers, civil servants, researchers, scientists, innovators, job creators, industrialists, community organisers, etc who give so much everyday to make a difference in lives of many people die before meeting the president who has been in the position for three decades and counting.
Uganda is indeed paradise. We should all be glad for Buchaman and Full Figure. Nothing inspires hope into this hopeless country than these stories.
With a bulging jobless youth population, all seeing darkness at the end of the tunnel, Buchaman and Full Figure are a string that can stop them from losing hope all together and embark on life of crime for a living.
The other day I was wondering – why isn’t President Museveni persuaded to get a more descent kind of people in the league of Buchaman? I then realized that actually he started with them…. But didn’t show up. People like Ragga Dee cannot insult, say, Bobi Wine in public. But Ragga Dee has been eating cake and chicken from Museveni and his brother Gen Salim Saleh for donkey years.
All this time, hungry and frustrated people in and out of the country have hurled insults on Museveni who they blame for many of the ills affecting their lives.
The Ragga Dees hid.
Just like intellectuals who worked with Museveni before. Remember, the first bunch of people who fell out with Museveni opposed him, and so far have failed. Some went back, others have paid heavily. The second group of Uganda who worked with Museveni kept quiet and continued eating their carrots. They realized opposing and not opposing Museveni was a wastage of time. It was better to eat along.
Then, another group arose. All you need was to catch the President’s eye. Or at least have some association with him.
They went and scavenged on their own. It is what we call Kufera with impunity. These people commit atrocities in the name of being close to state house or powerful individuals…they stole, jailed people, killed, unabated. Some of them are in jail after they fell out with one of their masters.
For all the good Golola has done, his name recognition, motormouth, star power, and enthusiasm – why not give him a retirement benefit worth his name.
As for Bad Black. She has lived it all.
From lady of the night to self-confessed world class slut; Black has haters and admirers to her. Since it is all about votes – Bad Black can really represent women and men who love away matches. The Bad Black sin is in every village and therefore that constituency is indeed so huge. And lastly Zari. Maybe Tourism Minister Godfrey Kiwanda Suubi can tell His Excellency why Zari is suitable presidential advisors on matters of Tulambule. It is not too late, it is time for kugabana. Tugabane!
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