For decades, our societies have been advocating for the empowerment of girls and building up women. But does empowering girls mean neglecting boys? Does building women up mean breaking men down?
We are strongly committed to teaching girls that they are equal to boys to the point we have forgotten to extend the message to the boys yet they are the future husbands of these empowered girls.
Sure enough, the girl child and women’s empowerment are all to the benefit of our girls and society and this is a worthy cause. But have we paused to wonder how this marginalization is impacting our boys?
Along with the focus on feminism, we need to embrace a new men’s empowerment movement too, one that pays attention to the young boys who are discovering their manhood against a backdrop of hashtags and equality campaigns that tend to either overlook or vilify their masculinity. This will help to reduce family-based violence, the spread of HIV/AIDs, and the number of single mothers in communities.
We live in an era where we constantly talk about women’s empowerment, and no gender bias, but at the same time, we are promoting girls and their worth all over the media way more than we do with our boys forgetting that these boys will have head the empowered girls when it comes to a family level and in community.
Everything has two sides. On one side, we are raising our girls to be powerful and on the other, we must also think about how this impacts our boys and their perception of equality.
Gender equity in its truest meaning is about fairness to boys and girls, women and men but that’s not what we’re seeing in today’s society. On paper, we call it gender equality but in reality, it’s really about Girls/women.
Without dismissing the plight of girls and young women, what I’m saying here is that true gender equality and respect for girls/women will only happen when we begin to treat both boys and girls on the same level.
Yes, women and girls deserve every right a man has but these rights shouldn’t come at the expense of men, and they certainly shouldn’t come at the expense of young impressionable boys.
We need to acknowledge the biological differences between boys and girls.
Inherent gender differences in boys can only grow to be detrimental if we allow them to. A refusal to acknowledge the differences provides an ample breeding ground for letting minor problems become major problems.
The phrase “boys will be boys” isn’t the proper way of acknowledging these differences. Instead, we need to teach our boys healthy ways to channel their emotions and properly direct their inclinations to fight and defend.
We should acknowledge the biological differences between boys and girls without making the boy feel guilty for being born a boy.
For instance, in a family that has both boys and girls, how would the parents raise the kids? Will they instill the mindset that girls are disadvantaged while the boys are advantaged or will they instill the mindset of handwork and equal opportunities? Will the children be taught the same values and ideologies or will the boy be taught he’s the perpetrator while the girl being taught she’s the victim?
There should be no advantages and privileges for one gender over another. We need to give both our boys and girls an environment that is equal and the same for both. An equal environment without any bias or ideas that try to differentiate them from each other.
The need to empower our boys to respect women and vice versa. We should teach both boys and girls how to embrace each other without ever touching another inappropriately.
The communities should not Ignore the emotional needs of boys.
The emotional needs of boys in today’s younger generations are being ignored. It’s no surprise that along with being harmful to girls, gender stereotypes put boys’ self-confidence at risk too.
Studies from the past two decades confirm that our focus on girls can leave boys behind regarding education and well-being. Whereby, you find that a boy’s cutoff points to qualify for government scholarships are slightly higher than those a girl child is required. The truth is, boys need more emotional support than girls but they are in collective denial.
The marginalization of boys leaves a vacuum in its wake that needs to be filled with better teaching for self-worth for our boys. The vacuum is currently empty and the chances for toxic masculinity to pour inside are high.
The choices we’re making today about our boys will either perpetuate a culture of toxic masculinity or disrupt it. We need to empower our boys to find strength in vulnerability.
Women’s empowerment has caused more family conflicts where men are tortured and suffer silently indoors, we need to articulate their emotions without fear or repression.
A neglected boy child will grow up to be a bigger danger to society than girls
If we continue to push only girl empowerment campaigns as a way to teach boys that they need to respect and appreciate girls, then the boy child will only feel neglected/ignored and not actually get the message as intended. Ignoring the boy child will only create a breeding ground for the exact behavior and ideologies we say we want to prevent.
How can we navigate women’s issues and societal challenges like poverty, lack of educational access and abuse without physically and socially ignoring boys or making them feel responsible for these ills?
A boy child who has experienced abuse of some form is more likely to get involved in delinquent and dangerous activities than his female counterpart who has experienced almost the same kind of abuse.
An ignored boy child is more dangerous to society than an ignored girl child. When the boy child is marginalized, he becomes dangerous not only to girls/women but to his fellow boys/men as well.
From a numbers perspective, the male-to-female suicide rate is four to one. According to statistics, Suicide takes more lives than war, murders and natural disasters combined. 95% of all homeless people are male. 92% of all workplace deaths are male.
So tell me if we’re looking at all of these statistics and numbers, and you see how the chips are stacked up against men, how do we then conclude that men have it easy? How can we conclude that men are advantaged and are oppressing women if these are the numbers that men are experiencing? Where is the dominance here?
In my opinion, putting the same effort into empowering the boy child will have a far better outcome for society.
Written by;
Masuumi Juma
Contacts: masuumi93@gmail.com Tel: 0756523763/ 0773839826
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