Travelling exposes one to different cultures and one is always learning something. I’m originally from Uganda, and I come from a very family oriented, sharing is caring, give your seat to the elderly culture. Most of us were raised to offer whatever food we have to everyone in our immediate vicinity as a courtesy, whether we’re well-acquainted with that person or not is immaterial.
I was taught that it is rude to eat while people are staring at you. If I were hungry and with a group of people, I’d either tell them I was going to get something to eat (and wait for a moment to see if anyone wanted to join me, or sometimes invite them to come with me) – or ask them if they mind me eating in front of them.
If, for instance, I bring out a bag of peanuts at the office, I offer that bag to everyone in the area, especially fellow Africans. It’s a habit most Africans have carried to the UK as well.
Whenever I’m having my packed food at work, and suddenly one of my work colleagues turns up, I always ask them to eat with me. Only one of them has actually taken me up on that every time I ask – she loves my meat and beans so much.
I am a picky eater; I often don’t want to share other people’s food unless I really feel close to you. When I do get something for myself, I wouldn’t want someone to eat from the same plate as me except my wife and kids.
One of my neighbours here in the UK is originally from Tanzania – They are Muslims, and the wife sometimes brings us ” mandazi ” and Tanzanian dishes during Ramadan and Eid celebrations.
My wife traditionally cooks pillawo rice, vegetables, and soup on some of her days off, and delivers food to different homes of some Ugandans in the area. She has been doing it since our days as undergraduates.
On Eid days, we always have an abundance of food in the house. My wife packs food for visitors especially after Eid celebrations – it’s called God’s Grace and Providence. We are guided by both our Islamic beliefs and culture on this, I guess.
We Ugandans may differ and fiercely disagree amongst ourselves on matters such as politics and religion, but one thing we can agree on is this: we love to eat and consider it an absolute discourtesy to not share our food with other people.
RECIPROCATING
I’m not as concerned about people offering food to me, because I tend to be picky about where food comes from and how it’s prepared, in terms of cleanliness. I would be unlikely to accept food from someone I didn’t know well. Although, if a stranger did offer food, I would probably have a better opinion of them.
EATING WHILE WALKING
My grandparents also believed that walking around eating in the street is rude and inappropriate. I don’t feel that this rule still applies anymore here in the UK. Many people today are so busy that they don’t always have the time for a sit-down meal. I used to eat while on a move when I had just moved to England, but I try to avoid it nowadays. I guess I have matured and grown a bit.
That is why whenever I do eat in a public place with a bunch of strangers, I still feel slightly uncomfortable about the yummy smell of my food affecting someone else (possibly someone starving currently).
Now, these are my own personal beliefs and values. However, everyone has their own, and are definitely entitled to them. If I was on the reciprocal side of all the situations I’ve listed and was not offered food, would I feel offended? Perhaps not, because I don’t like inconveniencing people.
UNINVITED GUESTS
If we’re having dinner and guests unexpectedly drop by, we ask them to join us. If what we have on the table isn’t enough, we rummage through the fridge or kitchen to find something that can be whipped up in a jiffy, or just go out really quick to get more food. In Uganda, my grandfather would send me out to go and buy a cake and soda for the unexpected visitor. Any time an unexpected or unwanted person would come by our family home conveniently at dinner time, our late grandmother would feed them and act as if everything was as right as rain.
Among the young English people (especially 50 years and below) here, they don’t have a problem telling an uninvited and unannounced guest that “we’re right in the middle of something. Give us a call later in the week and we’ll set something up.” You say this, after you have opened the door, stepped outside, and are standing in front of the door. You’re not being rude; They were. Key word here is “uninvited”.
Most Europeans believe that it’s not rude to not offer your food to others. They believe that any courtesy not freely given isn’t much of a courtesy at all- only offer if you actually want to share. Don’t offer just because you feel you have to—that’s far worse, if you ask them.
Among the old English people, they offer something to eat and drink to a visitor whether they are invited or not. It doesn’t have to be a huge meal. If necessary, they make them a piece of toast or a scrambled egg or even open a can of soup.
Coincidentally, my social battery no longer allows unexpected guests. I must be mentally prepared days before. Socialising is tiring; hence, I no longer like entertaining uninvited guests. It’s exceedingly rude to constantly invite oneself into someone’s home, imposing on them against their will. Too many people take advantage of kind-hearted folks. These uninvited “guests” never show up with anything in hand to give to the host. They only show up with an open hand to take from you. Some people are just ‘takers’ using other people without ever ‘giving’ anything or returning a favour.
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