IAN ORTEGA: She is only a big deal because she hasn’t yet accepted you

If you think something is a big deal, work very hard to get it. You will be shocked. Whenever we think something is a big deal, it is because we are speaking from a point of scarcity not abundance.

Scarcity has a way it confines your life. You think a car is a big deal until you buy one. It us after you buy a car that you realize it can’t be a measure of wealth. But also, it is only after you buy a car that you can learn to enjoy the Taxi or Bodaboda experience. Because now you do enjoy it from a point of abundance not scarcity or need.

I don’t want to “need” things in life. It is very dangerous to create and live life from a position of scarcity. It drains you. It destroys you. When you are poor, you don’t get time to focus on the right things.

My friends often make fun of my old phone. But the phone is not a big deal anymore. Once I knew I could walk into any phone shop and buy any brand, I lost interest. Abundance helps you to take back your power.

I often invite people to dates. But I am not concerned if they show up or not. Because I am not in need of those dates. I am having them from a point of abundance. At any one moment in life, I have many friends that I just have to create time and meet. I never allow myself to be in a position where I am obsessed about this one thing.

I learned very early to detach from things. To not need things. I made sure I meet all my heros early in life. I wanted to demystify these things. I made friends with people who run hotels in this country. I always asked them to give me moments in their most expensive rooms. Once you spend days in these places, you realize it is not a big deal. In that way, you reclaim your energy and can focus it on the actual big deals.

Now that I am older and less stupid, I have refined my big deals. My big deals is people and life. I want to spend my next phase of life with curiosity. I want to spend less time judging people and instead try to understand them. I want to spend less time judging life but instead understand it, create life, explore, experience every aspect of it, its highs and lows. I want to learn from everything in life. I no longer define life as good or bad. I wake up and just look forward to every day, everything it brings. I am a spiritual being having a human experience. One day, my spirit will give up this body. It won’t mean that I have died, it will simply mean my energy will have done its moments on this planet.

Something is only a big deal if you don’t have it or can’t get it. The moment you get it, you realize it was only but a distraction. She is only a big deal because she hasn’t yet accepted you. When you wake up next to her, you soon realize she was just like every other girl.

Even sex is only a big deal if you are not having it. Have much of it and suddenly you realize there is more to people than this. Now when I meet people I am attracted to, I want to know other things about them.

Years back, I argued that a relationship only begins after sex. Looking back, I believe sex should perhaps be delayed as much as possible. We ought to create some things together and sex should come after something has been created. Because often times you will have sex with a person and realize there is nothing more to this relationship beyond the sex. So better off first getting in each others worlds, learning things from each other and keeping sex as a bonus to the whole things. But who knows anyway?

Lack will confuse you into thinking things are big deal. Life only starts when you remove whatever you think is a big deal. Build that house and then you will realize the conversation about to build or not to build is a useless one.

Even money. You think 70m is a big deal because you don’t have it. Your world just can’t process it. It hasn’t upgraded yet to that program.

And when things are not a big deal, then people can’t use them to buy your soul. To confuse you, to distract you from what is important in life.