By Robert A K Kaahwa
Dear Pastor Teddy,
My heart is breaking for you, I am not writing this letter with 100% knowledge of what is TRULY going on in your life. I am basing it on what you have shared to the public and what we hear from your husband on the media.
To bear the insults of a supposed “man of God” is such a difficult position especially when your journey with him has been a difficult one for many years. Many Pastors wives suffer at the expense of the church.
This is so sad, yet it is a reality for so many Pastor’s wives. Your husband like many other Pastors lives the kind of life where the church and church people seem to be his priority and you his option.
The church gets the bulk of his time, money love and energy and by the time he gets home he is totally depleted, and retreats to bed. Most Pastors wives just want a little portion (not a double portion) of the attention the pastor gives to anyone and everyone else. Just a little bit of time and attention. I know you have endured that for years. But the current trend of things is worse than the normal pains of a preacher’s wife!
You started off by intimating that divorce was not your option. 29 years is a long time to walk away from. But now court proceedings in your divorce matter has overridden your heart’s desire. Marriage can only work when the two of you are willing to make it work.
The only person wanting to keep this marriage from divorce is you, and your sympathizers, but you are miserable, and your husband is not making it any easier. The media is only making the long story longer!! I wish your kids had a different model of a Christian home.
God hates divorce but he doesn’t hate the divorced. He never intended for the church to break up marriages or to be this much of a stress on families. When you walk away, you will not be walking away from a commitment that you committed to, you will be walking away from abuse, insults, intrigue and drama.
Hearing your husband speak shows clearly that we are dealing with a Pastor whose priorities are messed up. He does not listen to the elders and if he does, he does not follow their counsel. As a pastor I have been taught that my priorities must be always be as follows:
1) Spouse,
2) Family,
3) Church.
Christ already died for the church, so your husband and all other preachers don’t have to die for it again.
Lastly, please do not fear what the future holds, this marriage may eventually be dissolved, but your life and calling are not. For the sake of your children and your own life, stay above the waters and don’t allow what he says distract you from a higher life.
Also don’t allow other preachers to ride or rise on your situation; I know that we all would have preferred a reconciliation that is if he could wake up before the divorce is finalized well and good. But if he doesn’t, please get yourself a good lawyer and get whatever you can out of this marriage and start a life with your children. And for crying our loud, spare your children the shame they will carry with all the interviews you are offering to the media houses, these things will stay online forever and ever. This is the best time to stay put. Like a friend of mine said, silence cannot be misquoted.
And to our brother Bujingo, you don’t need any preacher to preach to you, just go back to some of the sermons you preached a few years ago, if you believe in what you preach, you will realize that what you are doing right now is against what you stood for many years. We love you but we know you could have done better than this.
Lastly, I pray for you and your future Pr Teddy. The future you have is not tied and defined by your connection to your husband. Osinga bangi abatayaya. We pray for Pr Bujingo and the HPMI family, none of us is perfect, but all us can do better if we chose to.
Pastor Robert A K Kaahwa is a lead Preacher at Robert Kaahwa Ministries
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