Exes are called your ex for a reason. The person was once an important part of your life for a period of time, and it’s understandable to still want to hold onto that relationship in some way. Many former couples, whether dating partners or spouses, try to remain friends after a break-up, and some are able to manage this successfully.
However research suggests that average exes tend to have lower-quality friendships than opposite-sex friends who were never romantically involved. This is especially true, not surprisingly, for former partners who were dissatisfied with the romantic relationship, and in cases when the break-up was not mutual.
The probability that a friendship with an ex will be a positive rather than painful experience depends on your motives, including those you’d rather not acknowledge. Truthfully are there any good reasons to stay friends with your ex? Sometimes our minds have ways of disguising ulterior motives making them to look like innocent aims. So make sure you are being honest with yourself about what your true intentions are.
Here are 9 reasons why keeping in touch with your ex can get you into trouble:
1. You can’t heal: It is easier to heal from a breakup when you don’t have to hear or see their faces all the time. Memories of the good times you had with them will always find a way to crop up all the time you get to see them or hear their voices. The more you keep in contact, the more difficult it will be for you to stop yourself from loving them.
2. You lose prospective partners: Because you are in touch with your ex, you will be bound by a moral obligation not to date anyone else. Imagine, the only reason you are not with someone who may be more loving is because you don’t want to break away from an ex, who has moved on completely.
3. It is not healthy: You’ve already had your heart broken. Why then waste your time and energy in someone who has hurt you deeply.
4. Broken memories: Every time you talk to your ex, chances are you would be reminded of some past memories. While it may just be another happy memory for your ex, you may want to relive it. Also, even if you have to rebuild new memories, you’ll be constantly comparing it to your past.
5. It’ would be awkward for your mutual friends: They know you dated. They remember the PDA. And now they have to figure out how to treat the two of you when you show up to a party together but not as a couple.
6. You will get frustrated: Looking at your ex with someone else or staring at pictures of your ex with their new flame can leave you frustrated and annoyed. And no one will understand the way you feel which will make you feel more miserable simply because you decided to stay in touch with your ex.
7. On and off relationship: Keeping in touch with your ex could spark up chemistry, but only when one of you is lonely. Once that phase is over, things go back to square one. Then you would be in an on-off relationship, with no clarity about where you stand. Also, would you be comfortable in a no strings-attached relationship while you feel strongly for the other person.
8. You can not undo the past: If you’ve seen each other naked, you’ll have always seen each other naked.
9. You don’t want them to be with someone else: There’s a conflict of interest in your new “bestie” relationship, as you don’t want your ex to start dating again. Problem is real friends want each other to be happy.
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