HENRY MUTEBE: Some reflections on the missing digit between us and our parents

Something puzzles me about our parents. And I mean most of the parents.

I don’t know how these people managed to raise us… feed us… school us…and take care of our needs with the kind of money they were earning. We can barely manage our small families yet we get slightly higher than they had. We feel like we are chocking

Also, I can’t exactly figure out how they managed to keep relations so civil that you literally never heard them quarrel, shout at each other or do anything that makes you see conflict. We all grew up thinking everything was rosy until you ask and they tell you it wasn’t exactly chocolate between them.

Then, their networking and building lasting friendships. There are women I have seen around my mother since I was born. They are there in times of sorrow, in joy and the in betweens. They are there… all the time. And they are happy for your parent to succeed… they celebrate and wish you well as a family. They care for us like we were their own blood. It’s so remarkable. I want to become a better friend to people. These people have taught us what friendship means.

Then I reflect on us. The lives we live. Every r assumes as long as their friend is ’online’, they are well. We assume we are okay. We are losing the human touch. We no longer even smile with our lips. We use emojis.

I wish we make some more contact. I wish we build friendships that extend beyond online meetings and interactions. I wish we build friendships that last beyond campus, jobs or church. Friendships that last generations and cross over to our children. I hope we can become more intentional about building these.

There is something about our patents. Many didn’t get an education… but we admire their place. Even with all the education we have got, and the opportunities… our patents seem to be doing much better than us. I understand some things come with time but I fear that we are perhaps not picking some lessons from them.

Sometimes I wish I had just a 10% of my mothers brain, I feel, I would be much far. There is something about our parents that I just feel we haven’t yet grasped. I know we are cultivating our own style to navigate this life and some things come with age and experience but there is just something so admirable about them.

Have we been born in plenty and somehow missed out on learning how our parents made it? Are we not listening to and watching our parents enough? Are we consuming more than we need to? What is the missing digit between us and our parents ? The answers may loom large but these are questions worth thinking about.